*** Please consult your physician before proceeding with any lifestyle changes. If you have a history of trauma, know that you are always in choice. Nothing here is obligatory. Follow your own pacing and if you become overwhelmed, seek additional supports or contact a therapist.***
Dear Fellow Human,
Mindfulness has become increasing popular as research has continued to show the benefits of utilizing it. It also aids in stress reduction. (1) While mindfulness has so many benefits, it wasn’t something I was personally as interested in until later in my life. It was organic human moments with my Great Grandma earlier in my life that influenced my path into these areas. And it is still that organicity that guides my internal compass to this day.
I have some poignant memories from when I was younger of my Great Grandmother living her life deeply alive. She was intuitively connected to life. Before I knew I was a Celiac, one of my favorite memories of all time was Great Grandma baking her homemade rolls from scratch. What I would marvel most at in watching her, was that she baked by feel. No measuring cups, no scale… literal pinches and handfuls. And as she would knead the dough she could feel if something needing slightly more salt, or flour, or water. Even more astonishing to me was that the rolls turned out EXACTLY the same every time, with the same level of incredible. Each holiday was marked by the rolls rising on the counter, baking in the oven, and family at the dinner table fighting over them before anything else was passed. They were always consumed completely and immediately.
You may be wondering, so what Kristen? Why are you telling me the quaint little story about your childhood, this seems totally irrelevant? Well, this memory is essential to how I think about mindfulness. Watching my Grandma so in tune with her body and senses in baking made an impression on me that I’ve never been able to shake. She was this way in baking, this way in her garden, this way relating human to human. When I was with her, I felt a deep sense of…
This is what
life is about
I’ve been searching for clues about what created the essence of those experiences ever since. It feels important to me to share this story with you because sometimes mindfulness gets stereotyped in a way I’d like to unpack. I wish someone had explained this to me earlier in my life. There are a lot of assumptions around mindfulness that can be misleading. It can seem like you have to be spiritual to be mindful, like a monk living high up a mountain top. Or, you have to subscribe to a certain subset of religious ideals to “practice it”. (And if that’s your lens or approach to mindfulness, that is totally wonderful. There is nothing wrong with that and many people experience an enhanced practice with those things added.) The reality is though, that mindfulness isn’t required to be a part of any of those things at all. (2)
I like to describe mindfulness as an inherent part of being a human and being alive. It is simply an approach to experiencing life, whether you’re baking bread or taking a walk. It’s about noticing with curiosity and connecting to your senses. To me, being mindful is about being able to be deeply connected to life, no matter what the activity. I believe it feels this way for me because it offers me a chance to connect with and feel all the beautiful sensations involved in being alive… smell, taste, sight, touch, sound. It’s living while paying attention, instead of living on autopilot.
I really enjoy how Manuela Mischke-Reeds describes mindfulness in her book, 8 Keys to Practicing Mindfulness:
“Becoming mindful is about the small, everyday things, such as pausing to take a breath before you drive off in a hurry or considering for a second the food that will nourish your body before digging into a meal. Or it can mean checking in with yourself before responding to a challenging email or text. Every moment of our lives can become an opportunity to practice mindfulness.” (3)
Meaning, every moment of our lives can be an opportunity to pause, and notice all the moments that make up our experience of living.
I want to dispel the myths around mindfulness so it’s more generally accessible. Since the increase of industrialization and technology, it’s becoming harder and harder to be mindful naturally. If we were still living off the land in a hunter gather style, these “noticings” would be built into our daily lifestyle and activity. They were essential for our survival to notice things like the threat of a tiger or a change in weather we’d need to seek shelter from. But in modern times, being indoors on a computer isn’t naturally as conducive to noticing these nature based things. Like how you’d feel a breeze on the skin of your arm if you were outside gathering berries for breakfast. (4) While the implications of this could be discussed at length, I’d like to focus on the fact that despite our modern lives…
Mindfulness is a skill that can be learned.
Our ability to notice and connect to our senses is a growable skill, just like learning to ride a bike. Often, this idea of skill building gets broken into two categories: informal and formal practices.
Formal practices
Formal mindfulness practices are ones more likely associated with some of the mythicness of mindfulness. This would be things like a scheduled regular meditation time, much like how one would go to the gym 3-5 days a week. Similar to the way we build muscle with time and practice, formalized meditation has proven benefits when done with regularity, especially benefits for stress reduction (1). Meditating for as little as 10 minutes a day everyday can have significant benefits. It can take place sitting, laying down, standing, or walking, (like in a labyrinth). Mediation can happen guided either in person or via recording, or self guided. There are also formal practices which can involve groups like meditation retreats, or even silent retreats. (5)
inFormal practices
Informal mindfulness is much like it sounds… a less formal way of noticing. This is what I experienced my Great Grandmother doing. This could be things like pausing while working on your computer to reach for a cup of tea while noticing the warmth and texture of the cup. It could be taking a walk in nature and paying attention to the birds singing. Or feeling the sensation of the water running over your hands while doing the dishes. The key is shifting your attention to a sensory based experience while doing the dishes, instead of thinking about when to pick your child up from soccer or that you’re out of milk. What does the water feel like, is it warm or cool? Are the dishes sticky or smooth? These moments of micro attention give our minds and nervous systems a chance to shift out of the stress of fight/flight that is such a constant driver in modern day life.
Part of “practicing” is learning to become non-judgemental. Even if our minds think about our to-do lists again, there is nothing wrong with that. Our brains are naturally made to think that way. And so the “practice” of mindfulness is simply noticing sensation, noticing that we aren’t noticing (without judging ourselves or labeling that as good or bad), and shifting back to noticing sensations again. Just like learning to walk, there are ups and downs and all of it is a natural part of the process. (2, 5)
Mindfulness for me has been a way to experience a richer sense of life. Being more deeply connected to my sensations and experiences gives me the feeling of a qualitative, more meaningful existence. Plus, I’ve noticed it helps keep my stress levels in check as well. My journey in this mindfulness realm includes elements of both formal and informal practices, that I shift and change as my life changes. I also like learning about new and different ways to notice, and how to be kind to myself in the learning process. How about you? Do you have a moment like I did with my Great Grandmother, that makes you want to dive into mindfulness more deeply?
Questions for Reflection:
What does mindfulness mean to you?
Do you have any experiences, whether alone or with others, that you felt an experience of deep connection to your senses?
What type of practices, informal or formal appeal to you?
For more depth about mindfulness:
If thinking about mindfulness in this way appealed to you, you can gain practical tools and more depth by checking out the book…
8 Keys to Practicing Mindfulness
In the spirit of the quality of life,
Kristen
References:
- https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-mindfulness/
- Mischke-Reeds, Manuela. (2015). 8 Keys to Practicing Mindfulness. https://embodywise.com/presenters/11-manuela-mischke-reeds/
- Mischke-Reeds, Manuela. (2015). 8 Keys to Practicing Mindfulness. Location 165 ebook.
- Gooley, Tristan. (2018). The Nature Instinct. P. xi
- https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/your_mindfulness_practice_can_be_formal_or_informal